Gay and Lesbian Singles

So much is gay and Lesbian personals and online dating sites, you can select may be difficult to know what are it's a good idea to try. This is the case, which determine which is the salt, it may be useful to the many sites of the members, before you start money out of the premium membership in shell. Gay and Lesbian personals and online dating sites feature profile areas, you must list your personal information and other is gay and Lesbian singles available. Provide benefits to profile and subscribe to e-mail alerts corresponding to your new members requires men i.e., if possible. Go to a lot of links to Web sites and dig into all the trial membership, you can get your hands. You can view, Web sites, is gay and Lesbian online dating personals has been replaced by more traditional ways to meet other is gay and Lesbian singles for successful couples much: dating relationships, marriages and partnerships. The life of your partner may be there right now!

A typical membership structure of Gay and Lesbian personal sites

Some is gay and Lesbian personals and online dating sites look in different markets, the markets, for example, a banking professionals likely to charge more than the normal users of the Web site in the middle of the majority of the members of the Board.

Try each of the different site has to offer and find out what kind of people often check out each site. For example, there is the online dating sites that target the African Amercians, pet lovers, single parents, and so on ...

Make sure that you can compare each site, you can add "Favorites list" in the interests of the costs should be the only factor to consider.If the site offers trial membership and, if so, how long the trial version of the last. How many members are, in fact, the criteria when you make your first search? You do not want site, which is a small swimming pool, where you can select members to join you need fish. If you want to find someone that particularly large pond consider 2 instead of limiting yourself dating sites only one subscription to ensure broad cast network.Even if for just a free membership in multiple sites, you can use it to attract interest of members of ... then you decide to join, when someone catches your attention and you want to get them to actually

Remember that even when you are dealing with is gay and lesbian online dating sites, sometimes end results is determined by how much effort to actually place.Put a little thought behind your profile, in particular, what you are looking for and what makes a good catch.Be honest about the type of relationship you're looking for.

Also, make sure and post profiiliinRehellisesti you can check out profiles are currently with pic And even if you find a picture? ', which refers to you without a profile, which is the first thing most people do It, contact your picture! "does not have to be a professional photo, the only one that captures who oletja other SMILE!

Do you want to get there, and dating the virtual world might want to try?

For more information about this

Good luck!

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Rejection sucks! Gay Guy Primer matters, it is

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Introduction

"Well, it was really nice meeting you, bud, but I don't really think we're a match. Good luck to you though!" -or- "Yeah, it was fun! I'll call you!" -and then the call never comes.

Sound familiar? We've all been there at one time or another. You know, that stabbing feeling of being unwanted that's so hard to shake when it strikes. Yep--rejection! Rejection of all forms is a natural part of being human, from being declined for a job or being refused participation in a certain club. But as a single guy on a quest for a life partner, rejection is an inescapable given in the dating world as you search for a compatible counterpart. There is no way around it!

Now in this article, I'm not going to sugar-coat things and say "just get over it" or "it's his loss if he doesn't want to date you." This type of common advice minimizes the impact rejection really has. The truth of the matter is that rejection sucks! It hurts, it's no fun, and it can be difficult to swallow at times. But while rejection can be a nasty experience, it is a fact of life that needs to be accepted and embraced in order to survive and triumph over its effects. There's no easy formula for overcoming the fear of rejection, but what's offered here are some tips for making the most of it and taking on a new perspective to help you forage on and prevent it from holding you back from accomplishing your relationship goals and dreams.

Why Rejection Hurts

Growing up gay in a homophobic society poses many challenges as we face our developmental tasks and build an identity. As gay men, most of us carried boat-loads of shame and fears of not being accepted for who we were as we grew up (and a lot of us still struggle with these issues as adults) because of the messages from society that said being gay is "bad." This prejudice and discrimination, coupled with the fear of not being accepted, can lead to an extra-hypersensitivity when any kind of rejection is perceived. This can be even more pronounced for those men who experienced banishment from their families or suffered some type of trauma or abuse for being gay. Low self-esteem, the tendency to have a strong need for approval, and to define one's self-image around what others think of you can be additional culprits in making rejection seem insurmountable.

The Costs Are High!

For some single gay men, the fear of rejection acts as a huge barrier against their claiming one of their most desired goals--a loving relationship. This fear can manifest itself in giving up on dating, isolating oneself, avoiding risks that could result in positive life changes, a tendency to become desperate, needy, clingy, and a people-pleaser. Then there's all the negative, pessimistic thinking, anxiety, potential to become codependent, fear of commitment, and presenting a false self to avoid exposing oneself and being vulnerable, which then leads to intimacy deficits, decreased social confidence, and sometimes it reaches dangerous depths of turning to things such as alcohol/drugs and sex to self-medicate against those feelings. The list goes on--yuck!

· What does rejection mean to you?

· What are some of the losses and negative consequences you've endured as a result of your fear of rejection, if any?

A Mental Shift Is Required

A new mindset is mandatory for conquering the negative effects of a fear of rejection in the dating world. Most struggles with rejection stem from your self-talk, the chatter we all have going on in our heads all the time. What you think affects how you feel which affects how you act, and then they all interrelate with each other. You can create a self-fulfilling prophecy that if you expect rejection, it'll turn out that way. A lot of our fears of being "dismissed" come from such cognitive distortions (negative thought traps) as catastrophizing (blowing things out of proportion) and mindreading (making unfounded assumptions). You can certainly miss out on golden opportunities for meeting Mr. Right if you expend all your energy on your worries and negative thinking, not to mention that your self-esteem will be undermined and you won't feel comfortable in your own skin.

Your job is to identify which thoughts help vs. hinder your cause; capitalize on those that boost your confidence and motivate you, and work at defeating those negative thoughts that keep you trapped in vicious cycles of self-defeat. Replace those negative tapes with more affirming statements; this will take a lot of consistent practice to internalize the new messages and counter the old ones that form your beliefs. Another option is to create situations for yourself that will prove your old negative beliefs wrong by demonstrating to yourself that you are capable of overcoming anything that acts as an obstacle to your success.

Tips For Coping With Rejection

The following are some ideas to help you reframe the way you think about rejection so it doesn't seem so unbearable. Your negative beliefs can have a strong hold over you because they're trying to protect you against perceived threat or harm, so some of these tips might inspire an "oh please!" or "yeah right!" attitude. Let your mind be open and pick and choose those that might best fit your personality and style. View any resistance you may feel as an indication that your self-protection mechanisms may have been triggered and refuse to be held victim by them any longer.

* View rejection as a success. The fact that that guy doesn't want to date you is saving you a lot of time and energy in building something that wouldn't have worked out anyway. You've invested nothing, your heart is safe, and now you can channel your energies into new possibilities.

* Typically, rejection has nothing to do with you; it's a projection of the other person's wants, needs, and life experiences. He doesn't really know you. All he is aware of is what he saw and what you shared with him about yourself, but that's not the totality of who you are. It's more about him. It's not your fault, so avoid personalizing it and realize also that you are not Mr. Right for every guy you meet and vice versa. Most people you date will not be the right guy for you.

* Avoid attaching yourself to outcomes. Approach every date free from fantasy and as an opportunity to meet someone new. If something works out, then that's an added bonus. Don't mold yourself into a relationship just for the sake of being in one. Be the chooser!

* A fear of being alone is closely tied to fear of rejection. The more value you place on someone, the stronger the fear will be, so take the emphasis off of him and find ways to value yourself. Discover ways to be "happily single", independent, and don't put stock in being fulfilled in your life only if you're in a relationship. Identify your strengths and recognize what makes you a "good catch." Cultivate a positive self-image.

* Build your self-confidence by becoming the best "you" you can be. Invest in your personal growth, fine-tune your social skills, take safe and calculated risks, enhance your self-esteem and body image, develop a more balanced lifestyle with purposeful goals that will give you meaning. This will help take the focus off the other guy and put it more squarely on you and living your life to the max to where rejection won't matter as much to you.

* Whenever you experience feelings of rejection, write down the thoughts you're having in a journal and work at correcting any distorted beliefs that may be hurting you. Are you condemning yourself? Are your thoughts reinforcing low self-esteem? How are you contributing to your own feelings of rejection? Develop your own personal list of affirmations that will encourage and affirm you and rehearse them daily.

* Most importantly, stop giving emotional power to these men! How do you even know if this guy was really a match for you either? Are you projecting? His saying "no" to another date basically means that your personal requirements for a long-term relationship do not appear to match up. It is the traits, not you! And if a rejection occurs over something superficial, you don't want to be with that person anyway. Superficiality does not equal long-term sustenance in relationships. Overcome your fear of being negatively judged by having a solid grasp on your vision and requirements to operate from that.

Conclusion

While nobody likes to be rejected, remember that it's all about perception and that you have total control over the way that you think and interpret things; you have no control over the other person. Reframe your experience of rejection in more positive terms, develop a mindset of acceptance to bounce back quickly, and keep centered on your goals and beliefs in your ability to lead a happy life. Dating is risky business and not for the faint of heart, but can be a rewarding adventure. Don't let your fears of rejection paralyze your life; live by the mantra NO MORE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES and remember that the main reason Mr. Right will want to be with you is by you being who you inherently are--that's why he will fall in love with you and vice versa. So be yourself! Keep an ongoing log of affirmations that resonate with you to help you stay upbeat and centered during those difficult times, and in conclusion, here's a neat way of looking at rejection.

To build resiliency, you must experience disappointment and rejection and failure and learn that one, you can survive it, and two that sometimes the universe has a better plan for you than you had for yourself all along. --- Azriela Jaffe, author of "Starting From No: 10 Strategies to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Succeed in Business."

©2006 Brian L. Rzepczynski

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:

Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: "I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com

Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!

Brian Rzepczynski holds a master's degree in Social Work from Western Michigan University and is also a Certified Personal Life Coach through The Coach Training Alliance. He launched his private coaching practice, The Gay Love Coach: Man 4 Man Coaching Services (http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com), in 2003 and works with gay men, both singles and couples, on developing skills for improving their dating lives and relationships. He publishes a free monthly ezine called "The Man 4 Man Plan" that has helpful articles, tips, resources, and an advice column relating to gay relationships and dating. He is also the co-author of the 2005 self-help book "A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion."

Gay Love can be found on the Line-why Gay line Dating sites may not be the best option may be

During the last decade, the Internet to find love has become mainstream and expected. The reasons are numerous: many more people have access to the Internet and we are getting better educated, finding nothing and all general line. Of course, comfort and the people to whom we may never otherwise meet all play their part, have access to. It seems that everyone knows someone who fills their mate on the network. But what if you want to search for the line is gay love? Whether you can better going to the "General" dating site or a site, in particular sexual orientation towards?

The simple answer is that it depends on the ratio of the objective.

First, we must confess that men t internet dating has been very positive as many is gay individuals. The anonymity of the tenderers, it provides and and an opportunity to "talk" and "window buy" line partner is a special appeal to people who otherwise may be very uncomfortable, go to recognizably "is gay" pick up their place in the community.(The fact that, if they are sufficiently even lucky is near such places, or where they live). So of course is gay community was one of a "specialty" dating sites in the first row.

Type is gay line dating "or" find is gay love on line "and be surprised at the sites that come up for any type of relationship and fetish imaginable. These sites can provide a great eye candy, fun distraction, perhaps some fun line Flirting and sexting, but few of them may provide screening and matching based on the connection and compatibility, which lead to a long-term relationship.

If you are looking for long term is gay, you are best off tietoliikenneprotokollat one dating sites that have invested a significant period of time and research into finding, making relations with people position is line. Not only does not exceed by more than sexuality?Long-term relations with the benefit of the discovery and not only we have the common things (anyone who has ever used the online dating service concern that traffickers may be diverting term to identify "the way he is feline lover and wants to eat"). Good grief, to about 80% of the population to be successful at this stage! in the long term, in order to ensure the compatibility and the connection are not only the factors that are important.Chemistry is a huge component! There is no two people know, until they receive a whiff of the person and each other's pheromones whether between chemistry, however, some are on. "mainstream" internet dating sites are not in the same situation, at least make some kulkuvälin research in this area, as soon as the corresponding users, before you can put the time and energy and millions.

No big deal to find love on the line is is gay "brand name" dating site using one of the very famous. even though the site terrible Press (rightly so) Prohibition of is gay matches in, in most of the sites your sexuality is almost as the problem.When you perform a search you request a "male looking for female seeking male" or "female", and only matches that bring people are looking for the same.

One of the dating sites at the beginning of the line use Dr. Helen Fischer is considered very scientific research.Known as Behavioral psychologist, Dr. Fischer brain research found that in the area of the brain, which corresponded to the "true love" was the brain structure and function, heterosexual and homosexual participants there is a difference between the two brain. have the same biological need for love and need is a physical need actual food or water.

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Practical advice on Dating gays and Lesbians

Dating advice is gay s and lesbians do not have much different dating advice, for anyone else. In the end, all searches for a date or a they are compatible with those of the partner who displays the mutual respect and affection. It can be difficult, however, do not know how to proceed in the absence of nuances and possible problems that are unique to dating homosexual are out. I've put together some practice dating advice is gay s and lesbians for different situations.

Come Out of Closet

If you are in the competitive process, the person is already a friend, you can work with it frankly and may be in a straight line.Simply acknowledging that you have the competitive process for him and Wondering if they feel the same way; if they are in, make sure intends to obtain one official date. If they say that they really do not think of you in this way, it's nice and wish to continue, the friends.

Great Places to meet

Check out the is gay and Lesbian books and clothes stores in your area.One of the most stunning shall be entitled to meet, and you can ask the interested staff if the region contains some of the hot spots is also books, check out the bulletin boards-these special events mailing list frequently, which can be a good place to meet new people.

Pink pages look

This is the list published locally or newsletter most larger cities that generated the list of events, clubs, bars, etc., match is gay s and lesbians.Try visiting a few new spots each week-lots of new friends meet, even if you do not find Romance.

Check out some of the courses in Your Local College

Most schools now offer a number of courses, one of the listed, such as "Gay and Lesbian Studies."
Log on to a few categories not only extend the intellectual horizons, it gives you a great way to start conversations you are interested in class members.

Consider activism

Promote is gay and Lesbian rights groups make up smart, interesting people who are generally social and More complex. is gay and Lesbian community, do, of course, meet more of its members.

Search always your Best

This may sound trite, but it is usually the case if the page you are looking for does not meet someone, stumble great! this key is to keep your mind an unexpected take part in opportunities.All other dating advice is gay s and lesbians is next to the point, if you do not have access to the possibility of Unexpected arrival.

You should consider Dating Outside your ' type '

If you only when you search for a dream date (height, with dark hair, a look, for example), you may lose the opportunity of knowing someone is incredible.Automatically do not believe that someone is too butch too femme too this or this.Go out a few times and may surprise yourself.If you continue with your friends and you will both be able to take your friends with each other.

Consider using Internet Dating

If you have a nice idea, consider Internet dating Has dozens of sites dating. advice and opportunities is gay and racy lesbians. these vary depending on the physical connections that were created in the express and matchmaking services specifically targeted at the implementation in order to provide lifelong men t professionals.If you want to experiment with these services, make sure that you understand some of the most common abbreviations are used:

ALT-alternative elämäntapaTOIMINUT-bondage, dominant and SadomasokismiKarhu-bearded ihminenBiF-bisexual naarasBiM-bisexual miesCD-cross-dresserDDF-drugs and disease vapaaksiFTM-woman man transseksuaalisenMTF-women transseksuaalisen miesPOS-HIV + FEMS-is gay male, which leans on the side of the language

As you can see, dating advice is gay s and lesbians contains information about all the opportunities for access to and in the case of other establishments. it is good to anyone looking for advice, and gives you the ability to make some friends along the way.

About the Author:

Kevin Urban Editor, dating site-advisor.com, one Guide best online dating Web sites. Guide examines Gay dating online services and links free Lesbian dating services providing best sites.

Copyright 2006 Dating site-advisor.com